You don't let kids walk around a graveyard unattended!
Rabu, 06 Juli 2011
Who are they kidding?
NOBODY ever wanted sugar poured on them.
And nobody ever called him the "Gangster of Love" either.
We're not idiots.
Hey Americans!
You do realize I never asked to be mentioned in your "one country" loyalty pledge, don'tcha?
Oh and about that portrait. I never "sat" for that. Also I came from the Middle East and I never ever saw another person that looked anything like that, let alone me. Not Nordic or related to Thor or anything like that.
Oh and about this "worshipping" thing....
I probably went to over 30 hockey games last year
Never saw a NASCAR shirt.
Not a one.
Don't even know who "Sam Bass" is.
I know Wayne Gretzky but....
Selasa, 05 Juli 2011
Thanks Mom!
You know for not letting me "drown in the pool" even though I probably really got on your nerves a lot!
There were so many days I could've just been "sent swimmin'" without supervision!
I was just reading that with the end of the Space Shuttle program, the Florida Space Coast economy has been slammed
There's gotta be some stuff we can launch!
There's a hockey player named "Jamal Mayers"?!
What the?!
I don't know about you but this day has been just a little too much for me.
OK, I'LL WAKE UP NOW!
I just can't wait for the people who don't know when to quit....
....and start blowing off fireworks today.
How would you like to shake someone's hand with a mechanical claw and have to tell them you blew off your hand...............on July 5th...............in the daytime?
You wouldn't even get past HR!
That Jose Baez guy should be printing up his business cards up by the "mega-gross" right now!
He could put the whole defense bar in Florida out of business in one fell swoop!
Even at triple his present rates!
He wouldn't even have to run one commercial!
What advertising budget?!
I am getting one.
You never know!
I know she is probably on the air right now....
.....doin' the "enraged" thing, but you know what she's really thinking.
"FREAKING JACKPOT!"
How many months did she get out of Anna Nicole Smith?
How do you know your dog REALLY loves you?
Ever heard of the Stockholm syndrome?
Where's the free will?
You know, every T.J. Maxx store I have ever been in....
....looks like it has just been looted.
I heard a rumor that these stores are kind of divided into different departments but I cannot absolutely confirm this.
Senin, 04 Juli 2011
Somebody I just met told me how beautiful Venice is
I told her it was all rats and water.
She's talking to someone else now.
Shoot for the moon!
If you miss, you're ummmm......in the stars.
The cold, dead stars.
For eternity.
On second thought....
Minggu, 03 Juli 2011
Doin' the "vacation thing" and....
....I just saw a guy honoring America with a 1776 calorie meal!
"Land that I love. Stand beside her and...."
You know, she kinda looks like....
....those chicks that put their bare feet on the dashboard on the drive over to the fireworks show.
Now Rhode Island legalizes same sex civil unions
Of course, wedding djs all over New England are now scrambling for Morrissey cds.
Goodbye Chicken Dance!
Hello: "Where the world's ugliest boy
Became what you see
Here I am - the ugliest man
Oh, the last night on Maudlin Street
Truly, I do love you
Oh, truly I do love you"
Brave new world.
The waiter enthusiastically said he thinks I look just like Jimmy Smits
I told him he was only about the ten thousandth person who has ever told me that, hoping he would feel bad and just get to "the specials". Instead it appeared to make him even more cheerier about the subject because it validated his opinion, I guess.
No tip though.
He'll learn.
Sabtu, 02 Juli 2011
Ten minutes to coma!
Those "Ghetto Killerz" guys keep cutting across my lawn.
Think I will hide in the bushes and spray them with a hose this time!
Jumat, 01 Juli 2011
Happy Independence Day Canada!
You hockey people, you!
By the way, do you know that you have the sovereign figurehead of another country on your money?
Just sayin'.
Aw forget it!
Happy Independence Day Canada!
Not all death-metallers compose music in dark dreary basements, you know!
Shows you not to stereotype!
I don't understand how we are almost at the end of this trial....
....and we STILL don't know if she won those wet t-shirt contests.
I think the lawyers themselves need a competency hearing!
Maybe the judge should just ask.
When did support for gay marriage get to like the 99% level?
Not complaining but I missed it all somehow.
My goal for the rest of 2011? Stay up on trends.
Actually, I haven't seen many guys with mustaches lately.
But that's just me.
Kamis, 30 Juni 2011
If you gave me five years to figure out how a remote control changes a tv channel....
....I couldn't do it.
Especially if I had to go beyond the "batteries" thing.
Rabu, 29 Juni 2011
CNN "expert" Dr. Phil just said....
....that Casey Anthony's legal defense appears based on "lies".
Good thing they got an expert to clear things up!
Minggu, 26 Juni 2011
Sabtu, 25 Juni 2011
Gas station sushi!
No, not nervous at all!
The guy who prepares it is NOT the same guy who hands out that really big bathroom key.
Bon appetit!
Anthony Bourdain
Born on today's date, Anthony Bourdain.
"Oh, I'll accommodate them. I'll rummage around for something to feed them, for a vegetarian plate; if called upon to do so. Fourteen dollars for a few sticks of grilled eggplant and zucchini suits my food costs fine." - on special vegetarian requests
(Sounds like he doesn't like them)
Jumat, 24 Juni 2011
New York State Senate passes Gay Marriage bill
I am not surprised at all.
The tuxedo industry lobby in that state is EXTREMELY strong!
They practically run the state!
Want people to think you're "metal" and/or mysterious?
Throw some umlauts in your texts.
When people ask what they are, just say "Oh come on, you don't use those?!"
Your welcome.
I will take my business somewhere else then, thank you very much!
Crazy people, refusing legal tender!
Langganan:
Komentar (Atom)